D for Desification...it is India Bhaiyya

Yes, it happens only in India. The mad, crazy, chaotic, but ultimately lovable entity we call India.


Have you all noticed how there is a wave of desification all round?

Now what is desification? 

You know in good old days when there were more "proper" English speakers in India than Great Britain; the high noon of St. Stephen's College & its ilk (Think of Stephen's, think of people who spoke English with an accent that died with Queen Victoria, but survived in Stephanians, but of course). 

Now what about Stephen's and the good old days? Well, you could find people who could say "Pray, you are obfuscating the issue quite deliberately" quite effortlessly. Ahhh, those were the days. Where will you find such people today? 

Despite the presence of 1 billion English teaching schools and the efforts of the entire Punjabi community, we have lost that touch. We really have. But pray, I don't mean to bemoan (did I just say bemoan? O my God) the loss. Rather, my endeavour (I am really losing it now) is to celebrate the vibrant, effervescent "Desi" culture of today. Why don't you watch the video to get what I am saying?

Now my dear brothers and sisters, this is MTV - a true blue American brand wishing you "Merry Christmas" with more than a dash of balle balle. Do you get it now? This is "desification". It is a culture that belongs to neither East, West, North or South. It is somehow an inclusive entity, a common voice that represents all the voices and sensibilities of India. So it works throughout India.

Without much ado (as they say in Stephen's), see the same video rendered in Gujju & Tam (Gujarati & Tamil) style.

So now you know why Kolaveri Di was such a hit throughout India. Naturally, films, brands, people everybody, almost unknowingly have adopted the desi style (ishtyle) and lingo. Watch this Coke ad & listen to "Ye Cokewa kitne ka hai?".

Wait, this is only the beginning. We have come to revel (again, Stephen's ki bhasha) in our own unique "desi" style. Everything has gone desi, including our world view. And it has set our imagination on fire. How about Kate & William getting married the "desi" way? Have a look. 

Marvelous my dear Watson, I mean Bhure lal.

Now we take it very seriously when the West sets some trend. And indeed it is Americans, this time Hollywood, that came up with this brilliant idea of dubbing Spiderman 3 in Bhojpuri. It really set the ball rolling. And the rest is itihaas (I mean history). Savour Spiderman saying "Humka Tohaar Madad Chahi".

So "desiness" has come to stay. It has come from within. It's a part of us. Love it. Enjoy it. And imagine...if James Bond spoke Punjabi. Would it not be lovely?

Work of a genius. So then, Be Desi...Eat Desi...Create Desi.

Namaskaar. 

What fantastic names...Really...It can happen only in India

So here we are back again friends...with a new post on It Happens Only In India.

One key aspect of our country is the names. Punjabis are very fond of English language...more than even the British themselves. So they always give their sons and daughters English names - Shunty, Bunty, Monty, Mintu, Rimpy, etc. The list is fabulous & endless. Maybe the British should consult us on creative English names.

But why blame only Punjabis? The whole of India is in love with English. And in case you find yourself constrained in this matter...do not worry...There is help. Just look below:

So head to Disha Institute for "English speakna". While you are doing that you could also do your MBA from there I guess. Hai na?

Anyhow, our first shop is the world famous...sorry India famous shop that happens to be in Kanpur. Not many things from Kanpur, apart from the city itself, are famous, but Thaggu Ke Laddoo certainly is. Check out his laddoos the next time you are in Kanpur & do not miss out on Badnaam Kulfi as well. And kindly note that the punchline (it really punches you in the face) is now copyrighted.






Next we come to another amazing bit of branding (as you marketing folks like to call it). This is actually a chain of restaurants in Giridih, Jharkhand. Some genius came up with this name for his restaurant and other geniuses copied it. The result? See for yourself. It's a whole chain now. Where you want to eat is your choice - Sri Bewaqoof Hotel or Mahabewaqoof? Whatever catches your fancy.

This is Indian genius at its best. These restaurants have become popular because of their odd names. There is a lesson for all of us here. But no. Please don't think of changing your name to Thaggu...or Bewaqoof please.

Next we have another genius. Now one does not know where his shop is, but the guy is surely a genius. A lot of people tell us that to be successful you have to be different. But how many of us have the courage to be different? Here goes our friend.

The next one will surely amaze you. He is an ingenious fellow. Who says we Indians lack ingenuity? Take a look.

Now that is why they call Facebook the ultimate social medium. A lot of people must be coming each day to have Sevpuri, Paanipuri, Dahi Bhalla, etc., etc. And those of you who were always curious, the man behind the counter is Mark Zuckerberg himself. 

In India, as we said, we are in love, sorry obsessed with English. And therefore it stands to reason that whatever we do has to have English in it, or it should be an English sounding name. 

Let me present Potty's Restaurant to you. Brilliant. Isn't it? Just like we have Manpreet becoming Monty, here maybe Patwardhan has become Potty. So in the end we have an elegant abbreviation as well as an upscale English name.

So that completes our list this time. But our post is never complete without a video. So here is our video for today. Presenting Muchchad Singh Paanwala. Sounds like the name of a dacoit. But he is really our dear old Paanwalla, with a rather creative name. And remember, better to sell paan than be a dacoit.

That brings us to the end of this post. So say it with me - It Happens Only In India. 

Yes dude...it happens only in India...Bappi Lahiri Special

So we are back again folks...with more stuff on IT HAPPENS ONLY IN INDIA.

We start today's post with a couple of notices concerning Dogs & Owners of Dogs. Now in case it has escaped your attention, though I don't know how it is possible, that we have a L & L (lovely & large) population of stray dogs in our country. Plus, as it so happens, the word "dog" makes for a fairly mild (by Indian standards) gaali. So dogs have a huge symbolic value in India. And pet dogs naturally are a prized possession. 

But as it happens a lot in India, we Indians really suffer from "My car is better than yours" syndrome. So naturally it is all about "My pet dog is better than yours". If it stopped at that, there would not be a problem...but some people do want to rub it in...and that too by strange means...have a look at the sign below:

Now do you get my point? And if you have, then tell me...is it fair to take your dog for a walk & then get him/ her to shit in front of your neighbour's house, just because you are jealous of him? Well well well...Guptaji...it ain't fair.

But let's move on...now tell me what do you make of the sign below?

So Sharmaji...are you trying to tell me that even dogs have attained literacy? I thought humans in India were still struggling with it...especially when it came to English (or Englisss). And yet, somehow, without any one noticing, it seems dogs have managed to study at least Hindi, which is no mean feat. The mind boggles at the possibilities. So it is now possible that your gali ka kutta will now come to you and say "Aapse nivedan hai ki mujhe kuchch khaane ko de...varna main aap to kaat bhi sakta hoon". Marvelous my boy, as they say.

Now, our last sign for this post also involves a reference to dogs. Here it is:

Now that's called attitude with a capital A. Essentially, Yakub Bhai is telling you...Go to hell dude...I won't sell on credit. Way to go Yakub Bhai. The only thing I can't figure out is how do you make a face like a dog? Or what is a dog-like expression? Maybe Yakub bhai will tell us.

Anyhow...this time I got a treat for all you Bappi Lahiri fans out there. Our wonderful walking jewelry shop... I mean Bappi Lahiri has composed some gems in his salad days (in the 1970s). Without much ado....we feature this gem of a song sung by Bappida himself...a double treat really...

Next we feature another song put to sword...sorry...music by Bappida & once again, sung by the great man himself. The generation of 70s was surely lucky to have such a peerless composer in his peak form. In case you wish to know, the song features Hrithik Roshan's papa (called Rakesh Rakesh, in a wig that he perhaps was born with).

And now...the concluding song for today...a real tour de force...a real gem...from the movie Himmatwala which took the nation by storm in the 80s.

Now what can one say about this song...it is a potter's (kumhaar in Hindi) dream come true. What a wonderful range of mesmerising & glistening pottery, against a blue azure sky. What jerks...I mean dance moves by Sridevi & Jeetu. And yes, what music by Bappi Lahiri. Oh indeed...it was blessed to be alive then!!

So good bye & good luck for now. I am off to plan a Sunny Deol special. Wait with bated breath for that one. And yes, I wait for your comments with bated breath. Byeeeeeee.