It happens only in India bhaiyya...jhakaas bollywood songs

Yes, it happens only in India. Read this blog to find out how we are funny, mad, even crazy - that too without making any effort.

When God invented mankind, did he really think that one day man will sin so much that he will end up creating Bollywood? And Bollywood will give birth to luminescent stars like Jeetendra, Govinda, Sunny Deol, Anil Kapoor, etc., etc. - men who have fired our imagination and inspired us to achieve the impossible? While all these gents are fine actors (if hamming can be called acting), it is in dancing, and therefore songs in which they have found their mojo. 

We first take up the (curious) case of Jeetendra. The gent hit his stripes in the 1980s with movies produced in South India. All these movies had mind boggling and eye popping songs. In fact, mind scrambling is the term that comes to mind. I know. I know. You are a die hard Jooti...I mean Jeetu fan too. And you really want to now feast your eyes by looking at the master at jump...i mean work. So here it is. The only thing. Darwin proved long back that we have evolved from monkeys. Did someone forget to tell Jeetu?

It would be a travesty if we do not give Jeetu more footage by featuring another legendary song of his. Here the partner in crime is Sridevi, and you can see that the female of the species out-jumps and out-gyrates the man. And that's how it should be. 

Are you still there bhaiyye? Is your breath holding out? I do hope you are not trying to copy the dance moves of the master. It is not for the faint hearted or the weak minded. Only those who are sublimely skillful can dance like this. So do not even try, and certainly not in public view. You have been warned.

Now, the master craftsman called Peetu...I mean Jeetu laid the foundations of a revolution. It was a whole new way of gravity defying, hysterical, maniacal dancing which took your breath away. But what he began, the others took forward. And how.

Now we enter the era of Govinda - the gent who usually had his mouth open and a facial expression that suggested that he just discovered that he did (not) have a brain. But let us not get intellectual here bhaiyye. Just listen to the song, admire the soulful lyrics and be transported to hell...I mean heaven. And in the august company of our friend Govinda, look what Mad-huri is doing too.

 

From the star sprinkled history of songs featuring Govinda, we now select another gem, co-starring Kimi Katkar - she of the "Tarzan, my Tarzan" fame. Though this song does not feature any earth-shattering dance moves, it is a big leap forward in our cinema, where Govinda takes on the garb of Superman (leaving the real Superman in tears no doubt) and manages to add his own patented dance moves to it. Enjoy the song.

We now move on to Anil Kapoor, otherwise famous as the hairiest man on earth. Now Anil Kapoor was not a natural jumper...I mean dancer as Jeetu and Govinda were, but yes...he was and still is a great one for trying. For example, he is still trying to learn how to act. Plus, he is trying to emulate the great Dev Anand (God bless his soul) for acting with girls half or one third his age. But this blog is about songs. And therefore, a great one coming up, with Anil trying his best to...how do we put it?...hop, skip and jump about. Now, all the hair must have got soaked in rain and added kilos to his weight. But it has not slowed him down at all.

We can go on and on. But we do not want to give you all in one go. You can not kill the hen that lays golden eggs. Plus, one needs to absorb such profundity slowly and in small doses. But we do want to feature two profound songs by that legend called Sunny Deol. 

Sunny Deol departed from the tradition established by Jeetu and created, rather introduced a new paradigm in songs. Instead of hop and jump, it was now like a muscled gorilla, or beer walking slowly. See the song and see if my analogy does justice to our Sunny bhaiyya. Boy, King Kong and Tarzan would be so proud of their lineage. And Karisma Kapoor looks like a true member of the species too.

And now, a gem to close this post. This time, King Kong...I mean Sunny Bhaiyya is accompanied by a young member of the species called Vivek Oberoi. And the effect is what you would expect when two muscled men, both committed to prove Darwin right, dance together. It is indeed a freaky, freaky Friday night for all you fans. Enjoy the number, and thank the dear Lord. For Sunny Bhaiyya. And Bollywood. The song is from the path breaking movie Naksha. And yes, there is the inimitable she-male, Sameera Reddy too.

So we are pretty proud of what we have managed to achieve today. We have a put a whole new way of dancing (if it can be called that) in front of you fans. It's history re-visited so to speak. But a severe warning. These dance moves have been perfected by the masters. If you try and copy them, you could be down with all sorts of contortions and distortions. So do not even think.

Once again...your comments keep us going. Scroll down to the bottom of the page and register your comments in the Facebook comments box. Thanks in advance. And bye for now.

Presenting the best dance moves ever

Yes, it happens only in India. Read this blog to find out how we are funny, mad, even crazy - that too without making any effort.

I think it's an open secret by now. The best dances or rather dance moves, are not seen in the films (or movies, as Americans call them). Rather, it seems that marriage/ party/ celebration halls are the venues that host the best dances moves. Actually, I am struggling with the right words. "Best" does not quite describe it. "Creative", "Superhuman", "Multidimensional" are the words that come to mind, but there is no word that combines all these terms. Why don't you watch the video first? It will blow your mind out. The background song is also pretty famous. Yes, my friend. It is your favourite track from Dahiya Music Company, recorded in Rohtak - that famous and peerless city in Haryana. 

Now three things may be noted. One, the moment alcohol enters the bloodstream of the Indian male, he feels an irresistible urge to jump and hop, with his hands and feet going in all possible directions. Second, there is something about marriages especially that gets men going. And how. And third, once he starts, the male of Indian species does not like to stop. 

Which brings us to the second video of today. It again features a male of the Indian species, but a slightly older one. But what super moves. Age has clearly made him better, just like wine. Check it out.

Now do you agree with me? Of course, you do. Nothing like marriage dances. And no one dances like male of the Indian species.

Our third video also features the Indian male or gent. Now this one is a familiar, but curious occurrence. Why? For some reason, the Indian gent likes to gesture while dancing. And there is a direct correlation between the state of drunkenness and amount of gestures. Of course, in that divine state of supreme drunkenness when everything ceases to matter, the gent also goes quieter, but no less creative. Do have a look.

And finally, when it comes to dances and dancing, how can dear old Punjabis be behind? Punjabis are lovely, hearty type of people who think nothing of gorging on butter chicken and doing good old bhangra. But in case you thought that bhangra was the domain of well built and well weighted gentlemen, you could not be more wrong. Enjoy the following number, and do keep an eye on the lean & mean Titu Singh Ahluwalia (a dear friend of mine, by the way). Now as they say in America, ain't he something?

I hope I have presented my case well. QED.

Do not hold yourself back from commenting, if you would like to (use the Facebook comments box at the end of this page), or contributing your own videos generously to our cause. Just post them to our Facebook or Google Plus page.

Thanks...and happy dancing, you male of the Indian species.

D for Desification...it is India Bhaiyya

Yes, it happens only in India. The mad, crazy, chaotic, but ultimately lovable entity we call India.


Have you all noticed how there is a wave of desification all round?

Now what is desification? 

You know in good old days when there were more "proper" English speakers in India than Great Britain; the high noon of St. Stephen's College & its ilk (Think of Stephen's, think of people who spoke English with an accent that died with Queen Victoria, but survived in Stephanians, but of course). 

Now what about Stephen's and the good old days? Well, you could find people who could say "Pray, you are obfuscating the issue quite deliberately" quite effortlessly. Ahhh, those were the days. Where will you find such people today? 

Despite the presence of 1 billion English teaching schools and the efforts of the entire Punjabi community, we have lost that touch. We really have. But pray, I don't mean to bemoan (did I just say bemoan? O my God) the loss. Rather, my endeavour (I am really losing it now) is to celebrate the vibrant, effervescent "Desi" culture of today. Why don't you watch the video to get what I am saying?

Now my dear brothers and sisters, this is MTV - a true blue American brand wishing you "Merry Christmas" with more than a dash of balle balle. Do you get it now? This is "desification". It is a culture that belongs to neither East, West, North or South. It is somehow an inclusive entity, a common voice that represents all the voices and sensibilities of India. So it works throughout India.

Without much ado (as they say in Stephen's), see the same video rendered in Gujju & Tam (Gujarati & Tamil) style.

So now you know why Kolaveri Di was such a hit throughout India. Naturally, films, brands, people everybody, almost unknowingly have adopted the desi style (ishtyle) and lingo. Watch this Coke ad & listen to "Ye Cokewa kitne ka hai?".

Wait, this is only the beginning. We have come to revel (again, Stephen's ki bhasha) in our own unique "desi" style. Everything has gone desi, including our world view. And it has set our imagination on fire. How about Kate & William getting married the "desi" way? Have a look. 

Marvelous my dear Watson, I mean Bhure lal.

Now we take it very seriously when the West sets some trend. And indeed it is Americans, this time Hollywood, that came up with this brilliant idea of dubbing Spiderman 3 in Bhojpuri. It really set the ball rolling. And the rest is itihaas (I mean history). Savour Spiderman saying "Humka Tohaar Madad Chahi".

So "desiness" has come to stay. It has come from within. It's a part of us. Love it. Enjoy it. And imagine...if James Bond spoke Punjabi. Would it not be lovely?

Work of a genius. So then, Be Desi...Eat Desi...Create Desi.

Namaskaar. 

What fantastic names...Really...It can happen only in India

So here we are back again friends...with a new post on It Happens Only In India.

One key aspect of our country is the names. Punjabis are very fond of English language...more than even the British themselves. So they always give their sons and daughters English names - Shunty, Bunty, Monty, Mintu, Rimpy, etc. The list is fabulous & endless. Maybe the British should consult us on creative English names.

But why blame only Punjabis? The whole of India is in love with English. And in case you find yourself constrained in this matter...do not worry...There is help. Just look below:

So head to Disha Institute for "English speakna". While you are doing that you could also do your MBA from there I guess. Hai na?

Anyhow, our first shop is the world famous...sorry India famous shop that happens to be in Kanpur. Not many things from Kanpur, apart from the city itself, are famous, but Thaggu Ke Laddoo certainly is. Check out his laddoos the next time you are in Kanpur & do not miss out on Badnaam Kulfi as well. And kindly note that the punchline (it really punches you in the face) is now copyrighted.






Next we come to another amazing bit of branding (as you marketing folks like to call it). This is actually a chain of restaurants in Giridih, Jharkhand. Some genius came up with this name for his restaurant and other geniuses copied it. The result? See for yourself. It's a whole chain now. Where you want to eat is your choice - Sri Bewaqoof Hotel or Mahabewaqoof? Whatever catches your fancy.

This is Indian genius at its best. These restaurants have become popular because of their odd names. There is a lesson for all of us here. But no. Please don't think of changing your name to Thaggu...or Bewaqoof please.

Next we have another genius. Now one does not know where his shop is, but the guy is surely a genius. A lot of people tell us that to be successful you have to be different. But how many of us have the courage to be different? Here goes our friend.

The next one will surely amaze you. He is an ingenious fellow. Who says we Indians lack ingenuity? Take a look.

Now that is why they call Facebook the ultimate social medium. A lot of people must be coming each day to have Sevpuri, Paanipuri, Dahi Bhalla, etc., etc. And those of you who were always curious, the man behind the counter is Mark Zuckerberg himself. 

In India, as we said, we are in love, sorry obsessed with English. And therefore it stands to reason that whatever we do has to have English in it, or it should be an English sounding name. 

Let me present Potty's Restaurant to you. Brilliant. Isn't it? Just like we have Manpreet becoming Monty, here maybe Patwardhan has become Potty. So in the end we have an elegant abbreviation as well as an upscale English name.

So that completes our list this time. But our post is never complete without a video. So here is our video for today. Presenting Muchchad Singh Paanwala. Sounds like the name of a dacoit. But he is really our dear old Paanwalla, with a rather creative name. And remember, better to sell paan than be a dacoit.

That brings us to the end of this post. So say it with me - It Happens Only In India. 

Yes dude...it happens only in India...Bappi Lahiri Special

So we are back again folks...with more stuff on IT HAPPENS ONLY IN INDIA.

We start today's post with a couple of notices concerning Dogs & Owners of Dogs. Now in case it has escaped your attention, though I don't know how it is possible, that we have a L & L (lovely & large) population of stray dogs in our country. Plus, as it so happens, the word "dog" makes for a fairly mild (by Indian standards) gaali. So dogs have a huge symbolic value in India. And pet dogs naturally are a prized possession. 

But as it happens a lot in India, we Indians really suffer from "My car is better than yours" syndrome. So naturally it is all about "My pet dog is better than yours". If it stopped at that, there would not be a problem...but some people do want to rub it in...and that too by strange means...have a look at the sign below:

Now do you get my point? And if you have, then tell me...is it fair to take your dog for a walk & then get him/ her to shit in front of your neighbour's house, just because you are jealous of him? Well well well...Guptaji...it ain't fair.

But let's move on...now tell me what do you make of the sign below?

So Sharmaji...are you trying to tell me that even dogs have attained literacy? I thought humans in India were still struggling with it...especially when it came to English (or Englisss). And yet, somehow, without any one noticing, it seems dogs have managed to study at least Hindi, which is no mean feat. The mind boggles at the possibilities. So it is now possible that your gali ka kutta will now come to you and say "Aapse nivedan hai ki mujhe kuchch khaane ko de...varna main aap to kaat bhi sakta hoon". Marvelous my boy, as they say.

Now, our last sign for this post also involves a reference to dogs. Here it is:

Now that's called attitude with a capital A. Essentially, Yakub Bhai is telling you...Go to hell dude...I won't sell on credit. Way to go Yakub Bhai. The only thing I can't figure out is how do you make a face like a dog? Or what is a dog-like expression? Maybe Yakub bhai will tell us.

Anyhow...this time I got a treat for all you Bappi Lahiri fans out there. Our wonderful walking jewelry shop... I mean Bappi Lahiri has composed some gems in his salad days (in the 1970s). Without much ado....we feature this gem of a song sung by Bappida himself...a double treat really...

Next we feature another song put to sword...sorry...music by Bappida & once again, sung by the great man himself. The generation of 70s was surely lucky to have such a peerless composer in his peak form. In case you wish to know, the song features Hrithik Roshan's papa (called Rakesh Rakesh, in a wig that he perhaps was born with).

And now...the concluding song for today...a real tour de force...a real gem...from the movie Himmatwala which took the nation by storm in the 80s.

Now what can one say about this song...it is a potter's (kumhaar in Hindi) dream come true. What a wonderful range of mesmerising & glistening pottery, against a blue azure sky. What jerks...I mean dance moves by Sridevi & Jeetu. And yes, what music by Bappi Lahiri. Oh indeed...it was blessed to be alive then!!

So good bye & good luck for now. I am off to plan a Sunny Deol special. Wait with bated breath for that one. And yes, I wait for your comments with bated breath. Byeeeeeee.

Did I not say? It happens only in India...

So here we are again dear friends...with new stuff on It Happens Only In India.

Our country must be unique in terms of the signs & signboards that we put up. Since it is our cherished dream to screw up (pardon my language) English language, I guess it reaches its fullest expression in the sundry signs & signboards that we put up. It is even better (if that's possible) when we put Hindi & English alongside. Ultimately we are quite fair...in our hands, Hindi suffers the same fate as English.

Sample this signboard:

It's my earnest request to you to follow what MCD tells you with all your....(you dirty mind) heart.

Of course, our basic instincts come to the fore every now & then...so we keep playing with the language...sometimes intentionally...sometimes unintentionally....sample the two pics that follow:

Now ain't that something? But what (of Dhoni) is being talked about? Leaves you clueless...or breathless...or both perhaps. Whatever Dhoni has...or had...he did manage to win the world cup for India...but 1.5 feet???? Bat??? What??? Your guess is as good as mine. And hey, no dirty talk please.

Now let's talk about the real phenomenon of the literary world. This guy is a Brand himself. His name is enough to sell novels and books. The books sell in every nook and cranny of the country, especially on the railway stations...Who is he or she? 

If you said Chetan Bhagat...you are absolutely wrong. If you said Ved Prakash Sharma...you are absolutely & emphatically correct. Here is a sample. I don't know if this is his latest book or novel....but it is into its 155th edition. What a stupendous achievement. And remember, it happens only in India. 

But my kind advise. Do not endeavour to change your spouse, even if the great novelist suggests it. To put it mildly...it is dangerous. 

Next, as always, is our Bollywood section...I have always had this thing for Bhappi Lahiri...and no...it is not because of the fact that he is like a walking jewelry shop...or the fact that he looks like a cute stuffed potato. It is merely because at one point of time he did give us some good songs. He really did. The proof lies below.  

What a nice song sung by the inimitable Mr. Lahiri himself. I am sure you find yourself humming along. But the way it has been filmed really takes your breath away...especially the opening few shots. The moves of that flunky are just awesome...as they say.

So there you are. Enjoy the post. Your comments are welcome. Use the facebook comments box below. Do check out my other website www.theadvertisingcollege.co.in for a lot of stuff on advertising.  

Oye Bhaiyya...It Happens Only In India...

Here we are then...fellow Indians...

O Bhaiyya...It happens only in India...It happens only in India...it has become such a cliche'...almost a license for us to justify anything that is right or wrong with our country. Jugaad the contraption? See...a wonderful example of Indian low cost innovation...the excesses of the political class...Arre...it happens only in India...

Let us move away from politics & economy for a moment & concentrate on other matters, shall we? What other matters? Ours is a country, in case you have noticed, where there is humour and mirth strewn around. Actually, the more serious we try to be, the more humour we create. Just read (and see) on...

Actually...this wonderful idea came to The Times of India first...to create an ensemble (excuse me, what a terribly difficult word to strike my fellow Indians with) or collection of pictures and videos that define the wonderful country we live in.

It's a country like no other. People profess...sorry...say that their Guruji has told (or is it tolded them...am not sure) that violence is bad, and that they should be gentle towards their fellow humans. The next moment...a poor cyclist hits their cars scratching a line on it...and out they are to avenge...Iske paise kya tera baap dega be??? I don't have to tell you what happens next.

It's the only country in the cosmos where we have jagratas...with wonderful & colourful personalities like Pushp Rangila conducting them..."Contact Pushp Rangila for Mata ki Chowki" or something like that.

Anyhow...enough said...the proof of the pudding lies in its eating...(Did you by any chance know it was a British guy called William Camden who first said it...but then..."Is Britain the same as England?" my fellow countrymen will ask me...so let's not get into that). So, every week I will leave samples on this blog that will justify the adage forcefully "It Happens Only In India".


Sample 1: Hollywood is good...Bollywood is better...but Hollywood converted or translated to Bhojpuri is  better than the best Bhaiyyajee...take a look...and for good measure...watch Spiderman 3 dubbed in Bhojpuri

Sample 2: This wonderful signboard is the work of genius...feast your eyes...(in Hindi...aankhon ko daawat do)

Sample 3: Now feast your eyes (double feast for you) on this clip from the movie Don (the original one so you are spared a wrinkled Shahrukh with a bear like hairstyle) featuring the veteran Pran. Otherwise a fine actor, something happened to him in this movie. For one, he looks a bit cocky, which is strange for a man who looks like a bread pakora with a wig on throughout the movie. Secondly, he hams...and hams...and hams...truly our very own Ham Prasad. Check him out saying "Koi Chance Nahi" to the flunky sitting next to him. 

Sample 4: And the last one for this week:

Ain't that something guys? The album sung by "mashoor gayak" Pappu Suppliyan Wala; produced by Bittu Jalandhari and directed by Parminder Dolly. What else do you need?


That's it for now. I will be back next week.

Do let me know your comments & feedback. More than that, I look forward to your zany, irreverent (I mean funny) contributions: pictures, videos...anything will do.

Do check out my website: www.theadvertisingcollege.co.in...and join the short term advertising course with us. It's designed to make you live, breathe, dissect and create advertising...and above all...appreciate it